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Life Advice: Dealing with Depressed Friends

Everyone gets depressed at times - even our most cheerful friends. I’ve had to deal with depression and many of you had to deal with depression too.

I was asked once more to deal depression this morning when one of my dear friends texted me that she was depressed. To help her deal with depression I quickly did the following.

To deal with my depressed friend, I had to understand what depression is and what causes depression.

The Merriam-Webster’s 11th Collegiate Dictionary defines depression as “a psychoneurotic or psychotic disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies”. In my own words, I say depression is a condition or phase which people go through during which they feel sad, lose their appetite, feel unmotivated to do anything and/or show other signs that they are down.

Depression is sometimes called the Blues. In the book So You’re a Teenager – Vital Facts for Boys, Dr James Wright has a chapter dedicated to “Coping with the Blues.” In this chapter, he describes some causes of depression. “We are let down in love, feel that we have been unfairly treated, or we lose a valued friend, and life suddenly becomes hardly worth the living.”

No matter what causes the depression, it is a tough experience. Dealing with a depressed person requires tact and sensitivity. I didn’t want to say anything wrong so I thought, what would I want my friends to say to me when I am depressed? And this is a list of things that my friends and I came up with along with a list of other things by John M. Grohol of psychecentral.com and

1. You’re right, this sucks.

Many times, as a guy, I would try to fix things and offer advice. When depressed, a person doesn’t need advice. Some sympathy would be great especially when feeling dejection.

2. You’re not alone. I’m here if you need me

Sometimes just the reassurance that you have friends who will be there for

3. You’re important. You were placed here for a purpose.

4. I believe in you… You’re awesome

5. I know it’s hard to see this right now but it’s only temporary. Things will change. You won’t feel like this forever.

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